Top 100 Album Review: #44 – Horses, Patti Smith (1975)

An Album to Make Intellectuals Feel Good.

Trying to sort out my confusion, my Aunt pegged the reason people “like” Patti Smith’s Horses. 


Rolling Stone’s Ranking: #44/100
My Rating:cropped-smooth-star

This stream-of-consciousness beat poetry album with three chord progressions is awful. AWFUL. 

It is so bad, you could be guaranteed that its rise in the minds of music critics and fans came from either two sources: social justice or elitism. This dive into the Rolling Stone’s Top 100 Albums has taught me the lengths people will go to defend awful, avant-garde art. Worst yet, it’s operates on a negative correlation where the worse the art, the more people defend it.

In Patti Smith’s Horses, the defense is primarily elitism with some flourishes of social justice. How Aunt Mandy puts it:

There isn’t anything good about it, just people wanting to be cool so they say it’s great to try to make you think “if you were an intellectual like me you might get it. Buuuuut you’re too stupid to know how great it is.”

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Top 100 Album Review: #79 – Star Time, James Brown (1991)

Some Things Should Never Have Happened.

This 4-CD box set is one of them. 


Rolling Stone’s Ranking: #79/100
My Rating: cropped-smooth-star-e1545862962550cropped-smooth-star-e1545862962550

Driving from Florida to North Carolina, I monotonously did small left or right corrections on the wheel as I headed in a straight line up I-95.  This FOUR HOUR AND FIFTY THREE MINUTE album of emphatic yelps, inaudible words, and repeated four measure horn-lines was emblematic of my drive: hundreds of miles of barren land with the occasional peak of a landmark.

James Brown has enough amazing material to make a regular greatest hits album. He does not have enough material to match the run length of Gone with the Wind and then some. The ratio of good:bad is around 1:8 making it a tough listen for the massive amount of dead weight.

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Top 100 Album Review: #37 – Hotel California, The Eagles (1976)

A Great, Soft Rock Album.

A perfect and compact album with multiple hits.


Rolling Stone’s Ranking: #37/100
My Rating: cropped-smooth-star-e1545862962550cropped-smooth-star-e1545862962550cropped-smooth-star-e1545862962550cropped-smooth-star-e1545862962550

I only require two things from my top 100 albums: 1) have at least one killer hit 2) make over half the album enjoyable. Hotel California accomplishes both with it’s titular-named single and a buoy of other songs. This album might only be nine tracks, but I appreciated a respite from the filler-filled albums that have been clogging my cue lately.

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